Who doesn’t love a good vampire movie?
There’s something irresistibly alluring about the genre that has captivated my imagination for as long as I can remember. The blend of horror, action and dark romance in films like From Dusk Till Dawn, Blade and John Carpenter’s Vampires ignites a thrilling sense of adventure. These films, with their unique takes on vampire mythology, fueled my fascination and love for the genre, making every blood-soaked battle and midnight confrontation an unforgettable experience.
Insane Like Me? is a new supernatural thriller directed by Chip Joslin. The film centers on Jake Morgan (Britt Bankhead), a former soldier who, after returning from duty, attends a surprise party with his girlfriend, Samantha (Grace Patterson), and their friends in an abandoned hotel. The celebration turns horrific when they’re attacked by a pack of vampires, leading to Samantha’s mysterious disappearance.
Jake, the lone survivor, is wrongfully accused of the murders by Sheriff Davis (Eric Roberts), who is also Samantha’s father, and institutionalized under the care of Dr. Stoker (Jack Maxwell) for the next nine years. Upon his release, Jake is determined to uncover the truth and find Samantha. With the help of Samantha’s sister, Crystal (Samantha Reddy), and her friends, they revisit the haunted hotel to unravel its dark secrets.
If I had to compare Insane Like Me? to one of my favorite vampire films, it would closely rival John Carpenter’s Vampires. Both films diverge from the trend of romanticizing the undead, instead presenting vampires as ferocious, terrifying creatures that must be eradicated, regardless of any human traits they might retain. Just as James Woods’ portrayal of Jack Crow showcases a hardened, cynical vampire slayer, Britt Bankhead’s character, Jake, embodies a similarly relentless determination. Post-incarceration, Jake dedicates his life to a brutal war against the bloodsuckers. Both Insane Like Me? and Vampires blend horror, action and dark humor, taking audiences on a visceral journey into the heart of darkness.
However, that is where the two films diverge.
Despite some decent early character development, Insane Like Me? quickly devolves into a monster mash. The film prioritizes blood-soaked action over creating believable characters. For instance, Jake starts as a charismatic, tough guy who can joke around with friends and hold his own in a bar fight. But once arrested, he deteriorates into a simplistic meathead. His dialogue becomes one-dimensional, with lines akin to, “Me kill vampires,” stripping away the complexity he initially showed. Perhaps his incarceration time led to this caveman-like mentality, but it wastes the potential of a compelling character. In contrast, Jack Crow in Vampires evolves into an iconic character throughout the film, while Jake becomes a boring, forgettable lead.
The rest of the characters in the film aren’t much better. We spend a lot of time with Samantha and her friends, but it is incredibly easy to see the horror archetypes they fall into. Crystal is a decent final girl with some charm. Her boyfriend is the jock. His friend is the pot head. And her best friend is the flirty-slutty girl. They are little more than that. Crystal is the only likable one of the group, leaving the rest simply as fodder for the slaughter.
With weak characters, one would hope that Insane Like Me? compensates with great action scenes and scary antagonists. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. The fight scenes are mediocre at best, with some so poorly executed they are painful to watch. The vampires resemble pro wrestlers more than terrifying predators, engaging in predetermined, choreographed moves that lack genuine menace. When they go to bite someone’s neck, it looks more like a nuzzle than a vicious attack. The CG blood, used frequently, looks blatantly fake, even by low-budget standards. These shortcomings made it difficult for me to immerse myself into the story.
Overall, Insane Like Me? earns a meager two out of five stars. The film feels like a bargain-bin version of John Carpenter’s Vampires, incorporating similar elements but failing to create anything compelling. The characters are forgettable, the action is mediocre, and the scares are virtually nonexistent, making it an easy pass for many horror fans. It’s disappointing, because there is potential in the concept that could be salvaged. Perhaps a sequel could place the characters in a more engaging narrative. However, based on what we’ve seen, this film is a flop.