How to Survive a Horror Movie Archives

Penny Lane Is Dead Delivers the Blood, but Kills the Comedy

When I was growing up, there was a kid I always dreaded being around. He wasn’t violent or dangerous, but he made me deeply uncomfortable. He ate his own boogers, farted without the slightest embarrassment and usually had dried snot… Continue Reading →

The End of Oak Street Makes Dinosaur Movies Feel New Again

When I saw Jurassic Park in the theater, I had very little idea about what it was about. I only knew that Steven Spielberg had made a movie about dinosaurs, and that was more than enough to get me through… Continue Reading →

August 19, 2026

Corporate Retreat is HR’s Worst Nightmare

Corporate team-building exercises always sound like a great idea in the conference room. “Let’s strengthen relationships, improve communication and build trust.” After sitting through enough PowerPoint presentations filled with stock photos of people high-fiving, you start to believe it might… Continue Reading →

July 11, 2026

Pitfall Turns a Simple Hike Into a Nightmare

When I first heard about Pitfall, my mind immediately went to the old Atari 2600 game. For a brief moment, I wondered if someone had finally decided that a guy swinging across vines, dodging crocodiles and jumping over pits deserved… Continue Reading →

June 30, 2026

Send Help Is Proof That I Would Not Survive Anything

Rachel McAdams screams in pain while covered in blood in the film Send Help

There was a period of time, years ago, where I became completely convinced that I could win the TV show, Survivor. This confidence made absolutely no sense. I was already an out-of-shape man with a bad back, colorblind and the… Continue Reading →

May 11, 2026

Scream 7 Spills the Gore with Cutting Commentary

By the time I graduated high school in May of 1996, the slasher genre felt like it was limping toward retirement. Freddy had cracked too many jokes. Jason had been to Manhattan. Michael Myers had already blurred the line between… Continue Reading →

March 4, 2026

28 Years Later: Expectations, Reality and a Very Different Movie

I went into 28 Years Later expecting water. Clean, familiar, maybe a little stale from sitting out too long, but ultimately recognizable. I expected the cinematic equivalent of rehydration, something that would remind me why this series mattered, hit the… Continue Reading →

December 21, 2025

Secret Mall Apartment Stashes Hidden Truths

The 2024 awards season was very good to Jesse Eisenberg. A Real Pain received much acclaim and numerous awards, but it also allowed the multi-hyphenate filmmaker to make a victory lap, of sorts, afterward and take on more behind-the-camera opportunities… Continue Reading →

December 7, 2025

Warfare is a Gritty and Realistic Look at Modern Combat

When I sat down to watch Warfare, I could not help thinking about the stories my dad used to tell me about his time in the Army Air Forces during World War II. He flew missions over Germany, navigating the… Continue Reading →

November 29, 2025

Traumas Spill Over the Borderline

As the saying goes, love is blind… but so is madness?!?

November 25, 2025

Geek Culture, Zombies... and Other Monsters

Tag How to Survive a Horror Movie

Pitfall Turns a Simple Hike Into a Nightmare

Traumas Spill Over the Borderline