Ever wonder what it’s like to become a walking, undead monster? What about turning back into a human, after spending four long years as a Zombie, constantly haunted by nightmares of what you’ve done? Horror movies will never be the same once the Coronovirus pandemic curve is flattened. What better time to get Cured?

My Guilty Pleasure brings us this gem, which deals with social issues once the infected Zombie hordes have rehabilitated back into the human race. At one point, the Maze Virus devastated Ireland, ravaging the living into undead masses. But once a cure was discovered, those returnees were shunned for their past violence. Seventy-five percent of those taking the treatment returned to the human race, so the government must decide what to do with the remaining 25 percent. And, as the Third Wave returns to society, you could say there’s a resistance formed, from those who have not forgotten.

I caught this Guilty Pleasure on Showtime Beyond not too long ago, and while watching it during the time of COVID-19, the storyline seems to gain even more importance. Once you get infected with the Maze Virus, you can’t get it again, kinda like the chicken pox, but the same can’t be said of the Coronavirus… yet. Brought to life by IFC Films, The Cured uses flashbacks to tell the overall storyline, which involves themes of forgiveness, humane elimination, being in control, family secrets, dark secrets, mindless monsters, a few jump scares and psychological horror (not necessarily survival horror).

“It’s not your world anymore.”

There’s heavy panting involved, along with a somewhat slow, kinda hopeless pace. It’s definitely got a slow burn, which seems commonplace for smaller to mid-size budgeted films. And this one was filmed in Ireland with exactly that sum of a budget. Ellen Page has an understated role here, which feels kinda odd for the biggest-named actor of the film…

The former Zombies — or The Resistant, as they’re called — are treated like lepers once they return to the land of the living, and The Cured Alliance wants a say in how they’re treated. Remembering the past can be painful… especially if you were a Zombie.

In the end, what kind of response do I feel about the filmmakers’ attempts at opening humanity’s eyes to bringing the fears of Zombies to the big screen? One word: Meh. I could take it or leave it. As much as I tried, I didn’t really care about Page’s supporting character, Abbie, or her brother-in-law, Senan, the main character. I was interested in learning more about the character’s quarantine, although it was never fully brought to life.

When the title of your feature film is The Cured, I would think it’s a good thing to transform from undead travesty into a walking, talking member of the human race. But the thing is, I really didn’t see a big difference in these characters’ goals from one form of life to a form of never-ending death. The writing isn’t exactly the best.

This one is only OK for a Zombie movie. I was hoping the importance of The Elimination would grow as the runtime accumulated. Unfortunately, The Cured wasn’t the best undead film to watch during the time of the Coronavirus. But it was good to find out what Ellen Page was up to, after appearing in The X-Men franchise and virtually disappearing… although she did appear in the Flatliners remake… but even that wasn’t really anything to really write home about.