Remember that moment in the red band trailer for Kingsman: The Golden Circle, where an American flag parachute is pulled, and the scene cuts to Taron Egerton, who says, “It’s very American,” and Channing Tatum replies, “Hehe, f*** yeah!”
Channing Tatum’s line is so perfectly delivered, it’s the kind of thing that makes you wanna jump up and yell, “‘merica, f*** yeah!”
Well, that scene isn’t in the movie. I haven’t been this disappointed in a movie not following through on something that was in a trailer since I watched Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Remember the scene of Jyn Erso limping across that gangplank and that TIE fighter rises up in front of her?
That clip aside, Channing Tatum is completely underutilized in Kingsman; The Golden Circle. In fact, he’s hardly in the movie at all. When watching the IMAX film in theaters, my friend, Matt, leaned over and whispered, “Maybe he charged by the punch, like, ‘I’ll throw three punches for $5 million dollars, but after that, the price goes up.'”
Speaking of money, don’t see the film in IMAX. I’m really not sure what I paid the extra money for.
At any rate, to think of it, almost all the American actors who play Statesman agents — the American equivalent to the British Kingsman agents — are underutilized. Halle Berry just stays in the lab all the time, when it’d be nice to see her character on assignment. Jeff Bridges? Well, seeing as how The Big Lebowski is one of my favorite films, I could always stand to see more Jeff Bridges. The only Statesman who gets to go on any missions is the actor Pedro Pascal, who you may know from the Netflix series Narcos or as Prince Oberyn Martell on Game of Thrones.
I would have much rather watched a movie with Taron Egerton’s British spy, Eggsy, being paired up with his American counterpart. It would be like The Odd Couple, but they’re super spies. Remember in GoldenEye, when James Bond meets CIA agent Wade?
“I mean, for crying out loud… another stiff-ass Brit, with your secret codes and your passwords. One of these days, you guys are gonna learn to just drop it.”
That kind of comedy writes itself. Instead, Eggsy is re-united and paired with Colin Firth, from the first film. You’ll remember his mentor got shot in the head in the first film. Why they brought him back? I’ll never know. It only adds another drama sub-plot in a movie that’s supposed to be an action-comedy.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle does have a lot of good action, though. It also has some good laughs. Most of the laughs, funny enough, are due to the cameo appearance of Elton John. Also, unlike the recent Bond films that look more like Jason Bourne flicks, Kingsman agents have all the neat gadgets you’d expect to see on a super spy. And I wouldn’t mind seeing a Statesman spin-off movie either (wanted to put that in there, in case the director stumbled across reading this article).
Want a few laughs and lots of cool action? Go see Kingsman: The Golden Circle this weekend.