Fear. Terror. And worthless debit cards. These are only a few things to worry about when the undead wreak havoc during the Zombie Apocalypse. Then there’s a whole new set of rules for raising your children during this tumultuous time. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you’re Only Dead on the Inside.
Once the walkers, stalkers, biters, growlers (and any other nickname you can imagine) rise and the national government falls, only the basic family unit will survive, so naturally this parenting advice-Zombie survival guide mash-up will be relevant in more ways than one. James Breakwell shares his prospective life-saving advice with some great humor, mixed with pop-culture references to create a fun read during the spooky season.
“If you read this book, I guarantee you won’t die in a Zombie attack.”
Everyone knows that parenting during the Apocalypse is difficult business. Just ask Rick Grimes. In fact, the hero of The Walking Dead would have really improved the chances of his family’s survival had he read this book before falling into a coma. He might have actually saved his wife or his daughter’s life… and perhaps an appendage or two. Let’s not even discuss the topic of Carl…
Millennials are just euphemisms for Zombie bait, as Breakwell can attest. The author, himself, has four daughters, pre-Apocalypse, which is pretty scary in itself. Everyone knows that children are truly little terrors, wreaking havoc everywhere they go for 21 years (or more) until they actually settle down and have difficult children themselves. Even that can be a scary scenario.
“As your life gets better, our kids get worse.”
This book gives great parenting advice through the Zombie Apocalypse, with humorous vignettes displayed on practically every page. They’re simplistic, slyly sarcastic comic strips that pair well with the other elements of this book, including words, graphs and a Do’s and Don’ts guide on how to use this book. It’s brilliant! And did I mention all of the great one-liners?
“I don’t even know what sarcasm is. A Zombie ate my dictionary.”
Only Dead on the Inside is a fun, light read that includes sarcastic jokes, meta jokes and practical jokes — I loved them all. In fact, the stroller combat scenario takes dad jokes to the next level and it was one of my favorites.
“Kids seldom learn valuable life lessons when they’re dead.”
I first learned about James Breakwell’s humor by randomly running across his Twitter account (@XplodingUnicorn). The format is perfect for his humor: short, sweet and to the point. If you use the social media format, you should definitely give him a follow — more than one million people have already figured that out. This book is clearly an extension of his account, providing even more humor in bite-sized nuggets of joy.
“If you don’t believe in Zombies, you might still find this book entertaining. It’ll help you pass the time until the undead eat you.”
My sister has two young daughters who recently visited me. Seeing the controlled chaos they created made me ponder what was the difference between tiny-sized monsters and undead adults? I really don’t think there is one, but children can definitely be horrible, regardless of the outbreak. And with an ongoing global pandemic, you’d have to think that James needs to quickly write a follow-up chapter for upcoming revisions of the book. I’m sure there are many similarities in surviving COVID-19, as well as Zombies…
“You have to decide if you’d rather die by Zombie bites or food poisoning.”
With those kind of options, I can’t wait to see what the future has in store. Hopefully, there won’t be too many tiny monsters there, regardless the outcome.