Last year, I introduced the #HauntLife Midyear Movie Missteps Awards, a completely unnecessary ceremony honoring the movies that confused, disappointed or irritated me during the first half of 2025. It was both petty and therapeutic in a way. It was also a little unfair, because not every movie deserves to be publicly drop-kicked into the sun.

Naturally, this year, I am expanding the ceremony.

The first half of 2026 delivered some genuinely great movies, several perfectly acceptable ones and at least one film that felt like wandering through an endless maze in search of a plot (#foreshadowing).

Some of these movies impressed me. Others entertained me just enough to avoid punishment. A few made choices that deserve to be studied by future generations, preferably from a safe distance and wearing hazmat suits.

These are films I watched but never formally reviewed for Zombies In My Blog. Rather than allow them to disappear quietly into my Letterboxd viewing history, I have created a collection of completely fake and deeply personal awards to give each of them the recognition they deserve. Or, in certain cases, the recognition they brought upon themselves.

There are no ballots, no acceptance speeches and absolutely no appeals processes. The trophies are imaginary, the categories are suspiciously specific, and the judging criteria may change whenever it makes the joke funnier.

So, without further ado, welcome to The 2026 #HauntLife Midyear Awards: The Good, the Bad and the Backrooms.

The SURVIVED DEEP SPACE, MAY NOT SURVIVE MY DOGS Award: Rocky in Project Hail Mary

Based on Andy Weir’s novel, Project Hail Mary follows Ryland Grace, a science teacher who wakes up alone on a spacecraft with no memory of how he got there. As he pieces together his mission to save Earth, he encounters Rocky, a strange, rock-like alien who becomes the heart of this funny, emotional and thoroughly entertaining science-fiction adventure.

My wife loved Rocky so much that I bought her a stuffed version, which now sits safely on her work desk. The word “safely” is important because our dogs would tear him apart without mercy if he ever fell to the floor. Rocky may be capable of surviving the dangers of deep space, but one encounter with our dogs would turn first contact into the Roswell alien autopsy.

Five out of five stars.

The WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE TRUTH RUNS WILD ON YOU? Award: Hulk Hogan: Real American

I grew up a Hulkamaniac. To me, Hulk Hogan was the closest thing wrestling had to a real-life superhero. As I got older, however, the facade began to crumble, and the man behind the character became far more complicated. Hulk Hogan: Real American helped me separate Hulk Hogan from Terry Bollea, presenting someone who was very much a product of his era while never denying the enormous and undeniable mark he left on professional wrestling.

Being a dad, the scenes involving Hogan and his daughter were especially heartbreaking. He clearly loved being a father, but somewhere along the way, that relationship fell apart. Knowing the documentary was unknowingly being made near the end of his life adds even more emotional weight, as there will never be a way to fix that. It humanized this larger-than-life character for me.

I may be in the minority, but when it comes to wrestling biographies, this is the gold standard, brother.

Five out of five stars.

The CURIOSITY KILLED A LOT MORE THAN THE CAT Award: Primate

Primate is a horror movie about a friendly family chimpanzee that contracts rabies and goes on a murderous rampage. It is essentially what would happen if Curious George woke up one morning, looked at the Man with the Yellow Hat and decided violence was the only option available for the day.

The movie is decent, delivering enough bloody chaos to keep things entertaining. Unfortunately, the characters make decisions that are incredibly painful to watch, even by horror-movie standards. At times, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted the characters to escape or simply stop making choices.

Three out of five stars.

The ALL SWASH, NOT ENOUGH BUCKLE Award: The Bluff

The Bluff follows a former pirate who leaves her swashbuckling life behind, only to have her violent past return to plunder the peaceful new life she has built. The story is good, and the cast had me genuinely excited to see what kind of pirate adventure they had created.

Unfortunately, most of that excitement had walked the plank about 20 minutes into the movie. The Bluff is too slow and does not deliver nearly enough action for a story involving pirates, revenge and buried secrets. There is a really good movie hiding somewhere aboard this ship. It just takes far too long to leave port, matey.

Three out of five stars.

And finally, our biggest midyear misstep…

The I’VE SEEN SCARIER ROOMS AT IKEA Award: Backrooms

Backrooms uses the familiar premise of an alternate world filled with endless hallways, fluorescent lighting and distorted versions of people. The video game is genuinely scary, transforming empty rooms and repetitive corridors into something deeply unsettling. The movie takes that same idea and somehow makes it dull.

The story follows a furniture-store owner whose life is going so badly that even his counselor wants to leave him. Rather than simply accepting the cancellation fees for missing his appointments, he brings her into the Backrooms. Why did he do it? No clue. Why did she go with him? That is even more baffling. I was never scared or nervous. I was bored, puzzled and desperately searching for the nearest exit. All in all, if you want a film in this vein, Exit 8 is a much better choice.

Two out of five stars.

And there you have it: the best, the worst and the movies that landed somewhere in the perfectly acceptable middle during the first half of 2026. Some took me into deep space. Others took me onto the high seas. One trapped me beneath fluorescent lights and proved that endless hallways feel even longer when nothing interesting is happening in them.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is that I made it through an entire #HauntLife Awards article without mentioning a Nicolas Cage movie. No Church of Cage. No Rage Cage. Not even a wildly unnecessary reference to The Wicker Man. Yeah… I am as shocked as you are! Either Nicolas Cage is taking it easy, or I simply need to watch more movies before the end of the year.

Both possibilities are equally concerning.

There are still six months left for Hollywood to impress me, disappoint me or spend $200 million creating something that looks like it was filmed in someone’s basement. Until then, protect your stuffed aliens, keep your chimpanzees vaccinated and, if you find an entrance to an alternate dimension, just leave it be. You can thank me later.