Welcome to the 2024 Lana Del Fear Awards! These awards are not your typical accolades; they are a carefully curated selection of films designed to entice you to explore cinematic treasures you may have missed. My selections will provide a good laugh or two for those familiar with these movies!
This past year, I immersed myself in an array of incredible films, and I hope you had the chance to do the same. As a dedicated horror enthusiast, I was thrilled to discover several five-star masterpieces that stood out and captured my attention more than in previous years. Beyond the horror genre, I consciously tried to expand my cinematic palate and delve into various other genres.
I’m excited to see where this journey of exploration will lead me as we move into 2025. Let’s celebrate these films together and perhaps discover a few new favorites along the way!
BEST USE OF A CURLING IRON Award: The Substance
The Substance follows Elisabeth Sparkle (played by Demi Moore), an aerobics television star, on her 50th birthday. After she loses her job, her life takes a turn for the worse. She witnesses a billboard with her face ripped down and is then involved in a bad car accident that sends her to the hospital.
Although she escapes unscathed, it is at the hospital that she is offered “the substance,” a drug that promises a younger, more beautiful version of yourself. Initially ignoring it, her curiosity gets the best of her, and she begins the program. However, there are specific rules for it to work, and failure to do so has consequences. The story unfolds in unexpected ways from this point onward.
This movie delivered one of the most exhilarating and unpredictable third acts I’ve encountered in a long time. It was so over-the-top that it flirted with campiness, and honestly, I was here for it! The sheer audacity of the storytelling and the dramatic twists kept me on the edge of my seat. One of the most jaw-dropping details is that the production reportedly utilized 36,000 gallons of fake blood. Just think about that for a moment! I’m unsure what else could happen if that bold creativity doesn’t spark your interest in the movie.
When Elisabeth Sparkle/Sue becomes her final “form,” she picks up a curling iron and curls a glossy, black strand of hair. The moment was so unexpected and comical that I couldn’t help but burst out laughing in the theater. It felt like the perfect cherry on top of a wildly entertaining movie!
BEST HAIRBALL Award: The Invisible Raptor
The Invisible Raptor is precisely what it sounds like. The movie begins with two scientists working in an underground lab, one of whom is unexpectedly portrayed by Sean Astin. As the story unfolds, we discover that they have genetically engineered an invisible raptor, which is contained in a jail cell within the lab. Chance the Raptor (yep, that’s his name) escapes and wreaks havoc around town.
Meanwhile, we are introduced to Dr. Grant Walker (portrayed by Mike Capes), a paleontologist working at DinoWorld, a dinosaur-themed amusement park. He is joined by Denny, a security guard played by David Shackelford. The plot thickens when Dr. Grant’s ex-girlfriend, Amber (played by Caitlin McHugh), unexpectedly shows up, adding another layer to the story and potential victim for the raptor.
Grant, Denny and Amber must save the town from the invisible raptor’s destruction. But will anyone believe them?
In one scene, an older woman with gray hair set in soft curlers moves around in her floral-patterned robe. The gentle clinking of ceramic bowls fills the air as she carefully places food for her beloved cats.
With its distinctive colors and patterns, each feline eagerly gathers around her, mewing in delight and anticipation. As she chats softly with them, something unusual happens — one by one, her feline companions vanish without a trace. Initially oblivious to their disappearance, the older woman continues lovingly serving the remaining cats.
Meanwhile, lurking just outside is the menacing invisible raptor. They soon become his victims, and the combination of cat hair and the little old lady is too much to handle. This leads to an unexpectedly comical situation in which the raptor is caught off guard by a hairball, which it can’t quite manage. The entire scenario balances on the edge of absurdity, and I loved every moment.
BEST USE OF A HOOK THAT MAKES YOU SAY “NAMASTE!” Award: In a Violent Nature
One of the most talked-about and controversial horror movies this year is In a Violent Nature. People either love it or hate it. Some viewers found it boring, while others considered it experimental and intriguing. I enjoyed it because it offers something we haven’t seen before. It provokes questions like, “What does Jason Voorhees do in his spare time?”
These are the essential questions we should be asking, people!
The movie explores the eerie tale of Johnny, an undead corpse who awakens from his slumber to find his peace disrupted. In a moment of curiosity, several friends discover a mysterious locket hidden beneath an old, dilapidated fire tower. Unbeknownst to them, this locket holds dark secrets and powerful forces that bind Johnny to his restless state. As the plot unfolds, Johnny embarks on a haunting journey of resurrection, fueled by an insatiable desire to reclaim the locket.
Not only does this slasher film offer a unique perspective on the horror genre, but it features several creative kills. The standout is the now-infamous “yoga scene.” Fangoria awarded this scene the 2024 Chainsaw Award for Best Kill, so you can imagine how brutal it is! It’s worth seeing for yourself.
MOST TERRIFYING GIFT THAT MAKES YOU WONDER ABOUT YOUR FORMER SISTER-IN-LAW Award: Oddity
Oddity is directed by Damian McCarthy, which follows a blind psychic, Darcy, as she attempts to uncover the identity of her twin sister, Dani’s, murderer a year after the crime took place. Dani’s late husband moves in with his girlfriend at the country house they were renovating, and a large crate is delivered to their door just before Darcy makes a surprise visit. Inside the crate is a life-size wooden mannequin of a man with a terrifying, wide-open mouth, almost as if screaming.
From this point on, the movie unfolds with a gripping mix of mystery, excitement and tension.
The mannequin in the film is unlike anything I’ve ever seen and is one of the most terrifying things imaginable. Not only is it frightening, but it also has holes in its head where several items are placed, including a vial of blood. That’s all I’ll reveal! This is a must-see film of the year, and I look forward to what McCarthy will do next.
BEST USE OF A TANNING BED Award: Lisa Frankenstein
Lisa Frankenstein is a horror comedy directed by Zelda Williams and written by Diablo Cody. The story follows Lisa Swallows (played by Kathryn Newton), a high-school misfit who prefers to spend her days in the graveyard drawing or reading. After her mother is tragically killed, her father quickly remarries, bringing a stepmother and a stepsister into the picture. Amidst this turmoil, the corpse or “Creature” (played by Cole Sprouse) comes from the grave she frequents and comes to life. She takes those parts from people who have wronged her to help him replace his missing parts — such as an ear.
The script’s highlight was using a faulty tanning bed to help The Creature assemble his body and come to life. As an elder millennial, I found this concept hilarious because many girls my age frequent tanning beds. The film features a fun ’80s aesthetic and an entertaining script, and while it will not make my Top 10 favorite movies of the year, it’s worth a watch.
THE AWE SHUCKS, I’M SCARY AS HELL Award: Hugh Grant in Heretic
Heretic follows two Mormon missionaries, Sister Barnes (played by Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (played by Chloe East), who are visiting individuals interested in learning more about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
During their journey, the young women stop by the home of Mr. Reed (played by Hugh Grant). They are invited inside after learning that his wife will be present, though she is baking a blueberry pie to share with their guests. As they wait, the conversation marks the story’s beginning, leading the girls down an unexpected and horrifying path.
The “Awe Shucks” portion of my award reflects the whimsical charm of Hugh Grant’s character, reminiscent of many of his romantic comedy roles from the past. His consistent acting style works brilliantly in this role, transforming a creepy character into a terrifying one. This is one of my favorite performances of the year, hands down. I couldn’t imagine another person in this role, so I rated Heretic five out of five stars.
THE MOST LOVABLE GOON Award: Yura Borisov in Anora
Anora is a romantic comedy-drama written, directed and edited by Sean Baker, and it is a favorite among enthusiasts of independent cinema. We follow a young stripper named Anora (Mikey Madison), who lives in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. Since she is the only stripper at the HQ Gentlemen’s Club who can speak Russian, she is introduced to Ivan (Mark Eydelshteyn), the son of a wealthy Russian oligarch who asks Ani to spend time with him outside the club at his mansion to be his girlfriend for a week, traveling and partying.
This is truly a Cinderella story, showcasing a journey from rags to riches amid a whirlwind romance. During a trip to Las Vegas, Ivan suggests they get married so he can become an American citizen. This is the point at which the film’s narrative begins to gain significant momentum, raising concerns about whether the unfolding events are, in fact, too good to be true for Anora.
Igor, brought to life by the talented Yura Borisov, serves as a loyal henchman for Ivan’s parents, entrenched in their shadowy dealings. While he presents a rugged and imposing exterior, a deeper examination reveals a character grappling with feelings of disenfranchisement. This struggle parallels that of Anora, who, despite her challenges, remains blind to the similarities in their experiences. Both characters navigate a world that often overlooks them, burdened by expectations and societal roles. As the narrative unfolds, the underlying connections between Igor and Anora may emerge, hinting at a shared understanding and unvoiced empathy that could bridge the gap between their seemingly disparate lives.
Their first interaction did not go well; he restrained her, and she mistakenly thought he intended to assault her sexually. In reality, he was only trying to prevent her from hurting herself. As the movie progresses, we observe Igor treating Anora with more respect through a few simple acts than Ivan did throughout their relationship. This culminates in a pivotal moment in the film that can be interpreted in various ways. Ultimately, it becomes clear that Igor is the man Anora truly needs in her life, rather than Ivan, making him the most lovable goon we’ve seen in a film this year.
NOT EXACTLY THE BIRTHDAY GIFT I WAS EXPECTING Award: Longlegs
Longlegs was a controversial movie this year, primarily due to the hype surrounding it. I try my best not to get overly excited in situations like that, so I entered the theater with moderate expectations and ended up loving it. Movies that contain puzzles or hidden Easter eggs are some of my favorites because every time you watch them, you discover details you overlooked the first time, and Longlegs has plenty of them.
The movie centers around Agent Lee Harker, portrayed by Maika Monroe. She possesses a psychic ability that aids her in her work. She is assigned to a case involving a series of family deaths, all of which have unusual connections: They are murder-suicides with no signs of outside interference, and each scene features coded messages left behind.
This film is a classic example of the adage “the less you know, the better.” At its core, however, a birthday connection intertwines the lives of each family featured in the movie. While we all hope for joyous birthday celebrations, the narrative turns dark with tragic deaths that dramatically impact the storyline. Mr. Longlegs, stay far away from me on my birthday!
THE WORST FAMILY VACATION EVER Award: Get Away
Directed by Steffan Haars, the movie follows a family of four on vacation to a Swedish island known for its annual Karantan festival. Richard (played by Nick Frost) and his wife, Susan (Aisling Bea), evoke memories of Clark and Ellen Griswold. They frequently call each other “Mommy” and “Daddy,” much to the embarrassment of their children (portrayed by Sebastian Croft and Maisie Ayres). Despite warnings from locals not to visit the island, they proceed with their plans.
The family arrives at their Airbnb, hosted by a shady character named Mats (Eero Milonoff). They settle in despite encountering creepy occurrences and the strangeness of their host. This, combined with the unsettling atmosphere reminiscent of The Wicker Man and Midsommar created by the villagers, gives the first two-thirds of the film a spooky yet comedic tone. It leaves me wondering if the family will survive their holiday abroad.
The third act is truly wild in the best way possible. I think the less you know about it beforehand, the better. This is the reason to watch the movie. There’s a crazy amount of gruesome gore while an Iron Maiden song blares in the background; it is epic. So, while my award may seem obscure, it makes sense when you watch this movie. I rated it four out of five stars!
Thank you for attending the first-annual Lana Del Fear Awards! I hope you enjoyed these awards as much as I did coming up with them. I started writing for Zombies In My Blog halfway through last year, so I am looking forward to a year full of movies and fun with this column. Cheers to 2025 and great cinema!